The State of Youth Ministry

Last week I attended the Youth Pastor’s Summit in Orlando. I love going to these kinds of event, one they are free and second I get to hang out with amazing people doing wonderful things in the lives of students. However, this year I left the conference with a different perspective. Listening to Jay share some disturbing statistics about the percentages of students who walk away from their faith after graduation was painful. As a veteran youth pastor I have seen these statistics first hand and it’s difficult to reflect on. Yet, after some intense discussions with other youth pastor’s I began to ask the hard questions: Why, and have we failed as youth pastors to create the right connection between our students and their faith? The hard truth is maybe the whole idea of youth ministry is wrong. Have we created such a separate subculture within our churches that our students have a difficult time connecting after their time in youth ministry or has the church failed to adjust to a changing culture.

One thing I have come to believe is that for many of our students we have helped them make the right “behavior” changes, but have the bulk of our students really made the “heart” changes. For anything in our walk with Christ to work must come from a heart transformation and not just a behavior one. We know that with behavior changes when the situation that reinforces it changes the behavior modifies to fit its surroundings. So when that student goes off to college and is in the environment that doesn’t reinforce Godly principles what results do we expect to see?

I am coming to believe that youth ministry has failed to focus more on heart changes than behavior changes. You see I think it is too easy to blame youth ministry for the issue, but honestly I wonder if it is more that we have failed our families. Have we focused too much energy on our students and not on our parents? I know that many of us have those students that get it, that they have had massive heart changes and you can look back and see that they had shining examples at home. I wonder about those statistics? How many of those who have walked away from faith come from homes where there was a consistent Christian presence there? How many came from homes where their parents truly patterned a Godly lifestyle for them, versus those who their student came to church, but at home their parents didn’t reinforce what they were learning at youth?

These are the questions we need to begin to ask so that we as parents, students and youth pastors can respond to the overwhelming amount of students walking away from a deep relationship with Christ. We must adapt and look for ways to impact the those lives in ways to help them in the future make the right choices when it comes to their faith.

Soul Cravings

 I recently picked up the book “Soul Cravings” by Erwin McManus, and have loved it so much. Today’s devotional was about the need for love. Erwin believes that we were all created to love, that each of us has in us the need to be loved and the need to love. If we truly think about it he is right. God designed us to be product of love and as that product – produce it. Do we and are we the producers of love? Is it apart of your culture to love, and the kind that is selfless, rather than selfish? You see when we focus our energy on ourselves and fail to fulfill our design we have a fundamental breakdown in who we are, and we begin to develop a disfunction in our design.  Sin plays an important role in our disfunction, and the breakdown in the design. It is through our dysfunction that a distortion of God’s design takes root. So, with this in mind it becomes important that we pursue that passion to express selfless love. In the practice we begin to grow through our dysfunction and in turn fulfill our design. Love it important, it keeps us, sustains us, and well breeds hope. Love is were life finds completion.

The other end of the burn

It’s been almost 9 years since I took the first steps into student ministry. It been a grand adventure of sorts. During my journey I have seen great highs and immense lows. I have witnessed amazing miracles of amazing students doing wonderful God centered things. I have watched with wonder and awe at the heart of students in worship and in prayer. I have also watched in horror at choices that seemed so unthinkable. Yet, in all those times I have never stopped loving what I do. I love students.

Recently I have watched the times change. I witnessed the change in the hearts of those I love so deeply. It seems like a war is raging in their lives. One that pits the very foundation of what I have and others have taught them though the years. At times is seems as if they are tossing off the teachings of their childhood and embracing a world vision for living. As these two worlds come crashing into one another how can we as Youth Pastors guild them through the jungle? How do we make the impact that instills enough internal strength to overcome such a large mountain?

Well here is the answer – We don’t. If we have done our jobs and trust most importantly Christ then they are securely in his hands. I have had the pleasure of watching many students stumble and even fall only to make an amazing recovery. I love the flexibilty of students. They can in most cases recover quite well, and grow further in their relationship than before. We as Youth Pastors must maintain a loving relationship with them. Our patience close to eternal, our hope immutable, and our love unceasing.

My greatest pain in youth ministry has been those times I haven’t been, patient, and hopeful, and yes even unloving. However, God has always covered my weakness. I have realized that when I try to accomplish ministry in my own ability and power I fail and I do fail miserably. It’s when I rest in His power and ablility that I can trust that He is working it all out.

The last thing we have to remember is trust. Trust is difficult. I have found that it is one of those lessons that take a great deal of time to build and maintain. As we are building the kind of relationship that develops this deep sense of trust between you, the student and their family it is important to remember that maintaining the trust is more difficult that establishing it. It takes work and lots of it. Yet, if I had to say the one thing that will make or break a relationship with our students – is trust. Be liberal with it. Smooth it over them like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Give them every inch of trust you can muster and then step back and watch. However, there is a warning. Beware, it can and will be dangerous. Why, because you can be hurt and you can do the hurting. So navigate well, but the reward in the end is oh so worth it. Make the investment.

Love them like there is no tomorrow.

Where to Begin

Today students, their families and our every day morals are finding themselves in a state of flux. Can we continue to make the impact in our students that we once made? I think we can. However, we are going to need the help of our “rents” more than ever.

The family is degenerating rapidly, and we need to become more stratigic than ever. Our churches must begin to place a more strategic emphasis on the whole family rather than decentralizing it and meeting individual needs. I’m begininng to wonder if success will be found not on the floor of a youth santuary, but in the living room of the everyday home. Youth ministry has its place, and gathering students together for corporate worship and relevant teachings is important. Yet, we must begin to focus our attention in another direction, our parents. If we seem helpless sometimes, we must think about how they feel.

I believe that there is a fundamental breakdown in the family. We have all heard the statistics and see the evidence. I have the pleasure of coaching High School football, and I had a run in with a parent of one of our players. In our conversation this father continued to tell me how amazingly talented thier son was and how they believed that he could continue far in the sport. He mentioned all the extra training his son received on the side and how much time they spent working out. The truth is his son isn’t even a starter. Our parents today in many cases have overinflated ideas about the child. My thoughts raced during our conversation about how much “quality” time he actually spent talking to his son. I know that we have high hopes, but we must make better investiments if we are going to see real fruit from our endeavors. This parent was so caught up with his student’s success on the football field that he lost sight of his sons spiritual and mental development. This student later failed to continue to play football not because of his physical ability, his academics suffered such that he became unable to play due to grades.

We must begin to effect the change in the minds of our families. Our voice must be one that allows us to speak into the heart of what is in front of us. Our parents must learn to make the most important investment in the lives of their children. Money and things are not real investiments, our time is. We can make an impact by reminding them of the importance of teaching. Our parents are the most important teachers they will ever have. Lets make an impact in them as well as their students. We must embrace a wholistic approach to effect change.

This is just a beginning. A beginning for me to express myself and find a voice. I’m hoping that some of what I write will find itself within the pages of a book, but till now this will due.

PJ